chins without beards deserve no honor

check-in number two NOW WITH fancy judging criteria

2007-11-13T22:45:00.000-05:00

aeron

the rules of the game...
it's about time we laid down some ground rules, much like the fabulous "iron chef" we will be rating the beards on a points system. Iron Chef chooses 20 points - 10 for taste, 5 for plating and 5 for originality; here on Iron Face we are raising that to 50 points. Here's the breakdown:
Length: 10 pts
Depth: 10 pts
Coverage/Patchiness: 10 pts
Symmetry: 5 pts
Growth over time: 5pts (how the beard grew in)
Bushiness: 5 pts
Lushness: 5 pts
A panel of experts will be brought in for the judging- profiles & resumes to follow.

To reward our loyal readers, and those of you who have grown to love the beards as much as the beards love you, we are also having a special people's choice award. This honor is to be bestowed upon the bewhiskered man whose overall look has been enhanced the most by the facial hair.

billy

The stakes:
So what are we playing for?
Well, honor of course. (see title)
Also, the winner will be treated by the loser to a first class shave at the barber of his choice. Also, the judges and moderator will take the winner out for night of 'Celebrating the Beard'.

aeron displays impressive fuzziness

billy showing excellent evenness and seemingly solid coverage.

is that a 90 degree angle?!?

an early look at the length/depth
billy (left) aeron (right)

check out the distance! it's like billy's beard is actually running away from his face!

billy, top - aeron, bottom

aeron shows off his clean lines and chin swirly.
billy, top - aeron, bottom

so, what do you think so far? any early leads? how do they look? any favorite historical beards? family beards? i want to hear it!
xoxo,
the bearded lady.

even beards have dreams

2007-11-11T16:57:00.000-05:00

just a brief post before the next weigh in - which i will attempt to make somewhat more scientific, we work with petri dishes for pete's sake. there will be a one-graph minimum. or at least graph paper. i just wanted you, my vast, engaged readership to know that the men are not mere empty vessels for their beards -NO- they are both brain and beard. while aeron imagines someday 'achieving' corporate sponsorship for his beard, billy wonders what it would be like to dig his fingers deep into kevin youkilis' scruff.
and i, gentle readers, leave you with more whisker inspired words...
"There is always a period when a man with a beard shaves it off. This period does not last. He returns headlong to his beard."
- Jean Cocteau

coming soon: an exciting do-gooder announcement! that you can participate in! and i think it's legal!

xoxo,
the bearded lady.

the first weigh-in

2007-11-07T21:31:00.000-05:00

November 7, 2007...the beards check-in. Their owners are doing well. As your impartial documentarian i cannot speak to the fuzz itself, only to say the playing fields are excellent.

Any comments three days deep?

billy

aeron

billy (detail)

aeron (detail)

can you tell the difference?

left- billy underchin, right- aeron underchin

the battle begins...

2007-11-07T17:22:00.000-05:00

what you are about to see is not only a battle of follicular fortitude, but a test of wills -
let us not forget the words of Shakespeare..."he that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man."

The Rules: on the evening of November 4th, aeron and billy each shaved their pre-existing beards down using the same attachment (see image 1). Beard growth will be observed and documented periodically, the findings posted here, until December 21, when the Beards will be judged by a jury of their peers (criteria to be determined -- I definitely think LUSHNESS has to be in there). There will possibly also be a pie baking contest.

The Beards: Billy vs. Aeron

Please, please, pretty please comment copiously and without regret.
xoxo,
the bearded lady.

November 4, 2007
accoutrement

weapon

making preparations

aeron dives in